There’s nothing wrong with wanting to please someone. Bringing joy to their life or putting a smile on their face is an all-occasion gift. But not everyone will appreciate your altruism. Some people just don’t want you interfering in their lives, getting all up in their business. Which is fine. They want to drive the struggle bus, let them. Then channel that energy into pleasing yourself.
Mothers especially struggle with this. They can’t reconcile spending time away from their families for a second. Like someone is going to swoop in and replace them while they’re gone. Ridiculous. And what happens when Mommy has had it up to herewith diapers and whining and round the clock care giving? She snaps. And no one wants that. Moms who invest time in their well-being are more relaxed, more patient and less likely to go postal in the toilet paper aisle at Target.
You are the only one with the power to bring you happiness. It feels like that’s not true but it is. And relying on others in this regard will only end in disaster. The last thing you need is a co-dependent relationship. What you do need is to realize there’s nothing wrong with putting your wants and desires above everyone else’s. In fact, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. After all, the most important person in your life is you. Some will disagree. They’ll say, ‘how selfish!’ and “I could never!’ They’re not wrong – on the surface – but deep down, underneath all the layers of guilt and anxiety, lies buried treasure. True happiness. It’s worth getting your hands a little dirty to find it.